You know how it’s never a great idea to ignore a quiet toddler in another room?  I’m here to tell you it’s not a great idea to sleep through the night, neglecting to check on a quiet Josiah either.

You know this cute little poop emoji? I can only guess the mom of an autistic child came up with that one, just to make it easier when texting other moms of autistic kids.  Much quicker to dash off a single emoji when running late than a long, elaborate, TMI text which would only conjure up unpleasant images most every mom of an autistic child spends the majority of her life trying to pretend is not part of her daily existence.  Best to avoid that scenario altogether.

Back to this morning.

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Josiah has lots of little ulcers in his esophogus that apprently have been there for quite some time.  He also has reflux. That’s what the GI Dr. told us yesterday in the hospital. That may explain why the boy hits himself in the head and pulls his hair or my hair or anyone who happens to be in the hair pulling vicinity’s hair.

But maybe it doesn’t.

This non verbal stuff stinks.  If he could just talk and tell us what hurts, it would be so helpful.

Since he can’t, we guess.  We do our best to make an educated guess based on data we collect. But in the end, it’s all just a guess.

I would have NEVER suspected ulcers or reflux.  Never.  Josiah eats really well.  He eats quite a bit of food at most every sitting and he loves everything and anything you put in front of him. Shouldn’t he be a more picky eater if certain foods cause pain going down or coming back up?

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Josiah saw an Otolaryngologist yesterday at Texas Children’s Hospital. Yes, we used a wheel chair to get the boy in the door.  No, it did not go well.

His amazing caregiver came along for the fun.  The visit would have been impossible without her.  Though no medical professional touched Josiah the entire 2.5 hours we were there, he made that face he always makes when he’s stressed and ready to flee.  It’s usually one of the first indications Josiah is anxious.  He tightens his mouth and sticks his tongue out ever so slightly with an anguished expression on his face.  It means let’s go NOW!

It used to be we’d just see ‘the face’ as I affectionately call it when Josiah felt uneasy. Lately though, he has been pairing ‘the face’ with a swift blow to the side of his head. Depending upon his level of frustration, we sometimes hear a moan or two. Yesterday though Josiah was scooting his feet across the floor to propel the wheel chair out the door.  He was wapping himself in the head repeatedly; communicating quite clearly he was done with that place.

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I’m not naive enough to think a ‘timer’ is all it will take to turn our boy around. Many times it seems we are in way over our heads. Sometimes it feels like it’s time to wave the white flag.

Our current plan isn’t working.

So, I came up a new plan.  It has 4 main goals: Independence, Compliance, Structure/Routine and Focused Attention.  Within each of these goals, are specific objectives. Under compliance it states: Be prepared. Show visual card  while giving verbal command.  EXPECT compliance. Count to 5 using your fingers so Josiah can see them.  At 5, use a full physical prompt (which basically means, make him comply).

That piece right there has started to change things quite a bit. No more letting this boy call the shots.

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It could just be my imagination, but when I first started teaching Kindergarten, it seemed like the ‘challenging’ students were always placed in my classroom.

This was back in the day (am I really old enough to say that) when most of the children were super sweet, excited to be there and for the most part, rather well behaved. There were just 1-2 per year that would test you at every turn.  I seemed to draw them like a magnet.

I remember a mom and her son standing before me 30 minutes early the first day of school. Nervously racing around to make sure everything was ready, I was startled by their early arrival.

“This is Sam (not his real name). You’re going to have your hands full with this one!” was his mother’s greeting to me.  Astounded that anyone would speak that way about their child and most especially IN FRONT OF their child, I smiled reassuringly, then reached down to put my arm on Sam’s shoulder. “It’s going to be a great year!” I said.

“Ha! young thing, you’ll see”, came mom’s response. With that she turned and walked out of the room, leaving her son alone with me.

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