One Thing I Know

By Sandy on November 20, 2017

It’s been rough lately with lots of screaming and too many punches to the head to count. We try to keep a daily tally but some days (most days honestly) it’s impossible to keep track.

Last week I ordered a ‘Cozy Caterpillar’ for Josiah. According to the website, it provides a proprioceptive and deep pressure touch experience like no other and is very effective for improved focus and calming for adults and children with: • Stress • Anxiety • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder • Autistic Spectrum Disorders • Sensory Processing Dysfunction.

One of Josiah’s amazing caregivers took the cozy caterpillar to ABA so Josiah’s therapist could advise on the best way to use it. She suggested he wear it 10 minutes every hour.

When I first put it on him he loved it and did not want to take it off. He sat at the kitchen table enclosed in the compression tube, quite happy. And here’s the best part. He wasn’t punching himself.

HUGE Decision

By Sandy on October 25, 2015

Exactly one day after Josiah turned 13, I began praying some very specific prayer requests for him. I’ve been asking God to keep him free from aggression and self injurious behaviors; for protection from germs so he can stay healthy; for a functional form of communication in all of his environments and for wisdom about his medications.

Given all Josiah has been through since then, one might think God hasn’t been paying attention, but I know He is at work. Josiah’s medications have been tweaked and he’s doing really well right now. His mood is stabilized. He’s sleeping great. He’s even beginning to have success using his Ipad for some basic communication.

In addition to these prayers, I’ve also been praying for something else. Something huge. It has been on my heart for a while. A small part of me has always felt it’s what’s best for Josiah. However, I wanted to be absolutely, positively, without a doubt, SURE before moving forward. I need to know it’s the right thing to do since it so greatly impacts many other things. For the past 9 months I’ve been praying for wisdom about whether or not to home school Josiah.

Prayer Works

By Sandy on September 26, 2015

Without a shadow of a doubt I am convinced prayer works. I’ve known it for a long time. I’ve heard and read many times about people who have prayed very specifically for something they needed, then watched as God answered that prayer. Sometimes it seems prayers go unanswered. Other times an answer comes but in a completely different way than expected.

I don’t pretend to have great wisdom about prayer. In my head I’m a prayer warrior. I lift everything up to God, never worrying, always trusting. He is sovereign and will guide with infinite wisdom according to His plan and purpose. But in my head I also live in Bora Bora so what does that tell you? The world in my head and my reality are two completely different places.

Take Another Step

By Sandy on March 22, 2015

Many times along this journey with Josiah the path has looked rather bleak. Try as I might to look for joy and find humor, it’s not always easy. There are times quite honestly, I just wish we were on a different road, one demanding less but promising more. If it weren’t for this blog, I would probably never even admit that to myself let alone anyone else.

In those difficult moments I feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for Josiah and I feel sorry for our family. I compare our lives to others and wonder why we don’t have it as easy as so many do. Why the constant struggles? Why the increasing aggression? Why the daily battles?

Wrecking Ball

By Sandy on February 6, 2015

The instant I looked down at my phone I knew something was wrong. I had missed 4 phone calls and 3 text messages, all in a very short window of time. Josiah’s teacher was trying to reach me. So was my husband. The voice message said, “We are having a few problems with Josiah today.”

I barely heard that. Instead I heard the frantic screams of my now teenage son, echoing in the background through the phone. In moments like that, my world stops. Almost immediately my eyes welled up with tears.